If you thought good funeral doom is easy to compose and that it is virtually impossible to record a bad funeral doom album, when all one needs it some simple tunes and the right, crawling pace, well, _March of Time_ may prove you wrong.

Although Everlasting isn't a bedroom project per se, as it incorporates real musicians playing real instruments -- the whole assembly of metal instruments, drums included -- the band's debut album sounds like a bedroom product whose only majestic characteristics are probably the beautiful bleak landscapes lit by a setting sun captured gracefully in the photos adorning the album's covers, echoing the brooding yet contemplative mood of Yearning's _With Tragedies Adorned_ cover -- other than that, any similarities stop right there.

That aside, _March of Time_ is a linear, banal, uninteresting recording without a clear direction, containing some really weak musical moments that pay homage to the funeral doom style with their pale echoing shadow without straying off from the route set by their predecessors but with a much diminished presence or charisma, where a high pitched guitar tone coupled with some sloppy synthesizers and a sporadic drum beat drag on and on aimlessly, helped by a vocalist who mostly speaks in low key using broken English (do not read the lyrics, as they make the whole charade even worse than it already is) and above all, a thin, if not anorexic, distorted guitar in endless sustain that offers confused, unfocused, sporadic non-riffage (mostly sporadic chords), as if the band have been jamming and the guitarist has just been inventing ad-hoc these guitar manipulations without investing any real thought.

The faster parts are misplaced and totally out of context, exhibiting some quirky and awfully non-engaging black metal routine that totally kills the mild atmosphere the band has been struggling to build with tooth and nail. Some nice, brooding neoclassical piano pieces do not salvage this recording from total ruination and forgetfulness, as this is one faceless and unimaginative album, if there ever was one.

I cannot think of anyone in their right mind who would enjoy this recording, not even the ones who make their first steps in the realm of funeral doom, as this is neither funeral nor doom, just a mumbo jumbo of almost random notes without even the slightest clue regarding both the art of song writing and the meaning of inspiration.