For the longest time, I couldn't bring myself to listen to these cunts. I heard one song ages ago, and dismissed it as bollocks straight away. It was the song with the Predator in the video. I absolutely adore the Predator, so to see him wandering around in a video, getting a haircut and buying kebabs was fucking ace.

But the song was shocking. It was "The Comedown" and I hated it. I think I was in my hardcore Deathspell Omega phase, so I was a bit kvlt. Although kvnt would probably be more appropriate.

Anyway, cut to a year later, I'm mooching about in a mate's flat. We're listening to tunes, drinking and caning "Gears of War". Then this riff comes out of the speaker and it blows my head clean off. I ask my compadre what it is.

- "Oh, it's Bring Me the Horizon."

- "Fuck off!", I say.

- "Nay!", he say.

It was a song called "Death Breath". It was as core as you could possibly get, but you know, fuck it. It was heavy as fuck, and had killer guitar work. So I did what most people would do. I pinched the album off him and decided to give it a spin. "The Comedown" is still really shonky, but the rest of it... bloody hell.

Basically it's good. Very good. Seriously, listen to the aforementioned "Death Breath". You cannot mess with guitar work like that. "Sleep With One Eye Open" sounds a bit like Will Haven circa _Carpe Diem_, before it turns into a blitzkrieg quick hardcore song.

Basically the record is a belter for the most part. It isn't perfect. Some of it is generic as fuck, and the lyrics I actually understood were diabolical, but considering what I thought they were going to be, they've done well. It's bollock smackingly savage, and they rarely descend into awful melodic bits like many of their peers do.

When you factor into the equation an absolutely immense production job, you really do have a killer package. I never thought I'd say that about a BMtH record, and I put my hand up and say "Yup. I was wrong."

Basically, if they were on Hydrahead and they had massive beards and check shirts, the resultant mass circle jerk would produce a tidal wave of cum so immense that not even Moses would be able to sort it out.

People call them fashioncore. To those people I say this: so? Have you seen the bints that are into this band? Fucking hell. If they were my fanbase I'd dress like a scenester too. God, they're probably drowning in so much hole it isn't funny. You think someone like fucking Immortal got laid as much as BMtH do? They'd be lucky if some squat bearded warlock offered them a handjob.