Nine Inch Numan
Smug London Bastards
by: Daniel Cairns
OK, it isn't really notable news, but I guess it's something. According to a reliable source (some guy I know off the internet), everyone's favourite brick shithouse Trent Reznor was joined on stage by none other than lovely old Gary Numan at Nine Inch Nails' London concert last night for a couple of covers. They played "Metal" and "Cars" much to the delight of the myriad squat goths that doubtless filled up the audience.

Yeah that's all well and good, but what did us people who attended the Manchester gig get, eh? NOTHING. He could have at least brought on some northern equivalent to Gary Numan. Like Rick Witter from Shed 7. They should have collaborated on a pumping industrial version of "Chasing Rainbows".

Actually, that reminds me. Shed 7 were good, weren't they? They once played a gig at my University in my first year and about seven people turned up. No one gave a shite about music in my shitty university though. Rachel Stevens did a gig too (she was in S Club 7, I recommend you check them out immediately as they were a massive influence on bands like Deathspell Omega, Blut Aus Nord, etc.) and they ended up flogging off tickets for about a third of the original price... and it still didn't sell out. What do you expect though? Stirling Uni is filled with people who do sports studies and get into fights about football and rugby. It's also filled with deceitful COWS.

Basically this whole affair has reminded me that the human race is a hessian sack full of smeg.

(article submitted 16/7/2009)


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