CoC : Kaffeine - Unworthy : Review

Kaffeine - _Unworthy_
by: Adam Wasylyk (0 out of 5)

Fucking horrible! I can't believe that anyone would put out such terrible stuff (I CAN'T call this music). I also can't believe I wasted time listening to this piece of shit. Littered with the most fucking stupid sound-bytes, I guess they chose them to go along with the equally stupid songs. A number of times I found myself fast-forwarding, to save what is left of my sanity. Using the most horrible alternative vocals I've ever heard, they then in turn use the most horrible death metal vocals I've ever heard. As the songs go by, the music gets worse and worse. The lyrics are also the worst I've ever read by any band, along with a equally horrible demo layout (a huge piece of paper folded incorrectly with small photocopied lyrics). The funny thing is this loser has a copyright on his lyrics. HA! Like anyone would want to copy them! I'm compelled to repeat a couple of lines from the lyrics, just to show how fucking bad they are. Check out this verse: "Tough luck, what the fuck? A hell of a day the only way. I know my life is a bucket of spit, I know this is it. Find a coin on the highway when my car broke down, hear everything without a sound. Keep it as a charm, for I mean you no harm". Or how about this gold nugget of a lyric: "You make me sick, you make me want to pick.... MY ASS!". The only positive aspects I see out of this demo is that I now have a tape to dub music onto, along with a new tape case that I can use to replace one of my older, cracked ones. _Unworthy_ this certainly is, of my time and yours. Fucking horrible!

Contact: KAFFEINE, c/o Jason Smith

(article published 13/5/1997)