Thelema - _Night of Pan_
(Musica Maxima Magnetica, 1997)
by: Andrew Lewandowski (3 out of 10)
Just as I always feel inclined to either bludgeon little children who vilify fat boys with glasses or direct ignorant female Hungarian imports to the local prostitution ring, I wish that I could bequeath a rating of "10" upon the libido of this Italian band of epicureans. Although Thelema's version of gothic metal, an idolatry of the Sisters of Mercy, is a bland amalgamation of the monotony of desiccated riffs and hilarity of excessively jovial vocals (the Italian accent is no less ill-suited for singing goth rock than it is for singing death metal), _Night of Pan_ exemplifies the essential levity of Pan. Maybe I have inadvertently correlated the impetuousness which is stereotypically perceived as indicative of the Italian persona with Thelema's romanticism, but this album exudes an enigmatic, yet ubiquitous "it" seeping with sensuality and the fetid, yet alluring stench of genitalia and their corresponding fluids. This "it" transcends the lyrical content, which embodies the buoyancy and naive righteousness of idealistic teenage pagans jamming in an abandoned garage... Unfortunately, this palpable integrity doesn't negate the fact that this is still a pathetic album. By the third track, Thelema had already annihilated any chance of inducing me into enjoying this album. The song "Hidden on Holy Hills" features one of the worst mastering jobs that I have ever heard (distortion is the major culprit), while "Unknown" opens with a verbal list of Thelema's influences (every seminal hard rock band from the Beatles to Black Flag), which reminds me of the dedication shown by middle school boys who glue patches of their favorite alternative bands on their backpacks.

(article published 1/1/1998)


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